Dumb Criminal Stories

**Wes** · #1 11-10-2003, 04:41 PM

There was a story on the news yesterday about some stupid criminals.

They came back to rob this store for the second time, didn't wear masks because they were planning on taking the video tape out of the recorder. Well the idiots picked the wrong recorder! So they now have their faces plastered all over the local news!

I also loved the one on America's Dumbest Criminals where the girl walks up to the Cop car and says "Excuse me, can you show me where the crack house is"!!!

Have you heard any other funny "dumb criminal" stories (real ones)?

Diesel · #2 11-10-2003, 08:38 PM

Why were they idiots for picking the wrong recorder? Were they supposed to know where each one was? There more idiots for risking 20 years in prison to rob a 7-11 (or whatever store it was).

Coastr Crazy 72 · #3 11-10-2003, 09:55 PM

lol. Well i heard of one story out in like Michigan where there was a lot of ice on the ground one time and these stupid women decided to run their car into someone and cause a huge accident or whatever. They ended up driving into the back of a sheriff's car. Yes the Sheriff was in the car.

SFGadvKing · #4 11-10-2003, 10:33 PM

some of them i remember from the tv show are:

some criminals try to rob a mcdonalds and they cant figure out how to open the cash register.

another is they are robbing some store and when trying to escape, they were pushing the door when there was a sign saying "pull" and they couldnt get out.

another is two guys were hiding under this house like in the basement and there were two cops by themselves yelling at them saying they had the dogs and were about to send them in (there werent any dogs) and then they started woofing with their mouths and the guys got so scared and gave up.

thats all i remember.

Raptor · #5 11-11-2003, 02:07 AM

This isn't really much of a poll and would be better off in General Talk.

**Wes** · #6 11-11-2003, 08:36 AM

[QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Diesel [/i]
[B]Why were they idiots for picking the wrong recorder? Were they supposed to know where each one was? There more idiots for risking 20 years in prison to rob a 7-11 (or whatever store it was). [/B][/QUOTE]

Well they are idiots because they walked into the store thinking they knew which tape to steal, and of course they DIDN'T know which one. Their plan would have worked if they had the sense to take both tapes. lol

BimmerZ3 · #7 11-11-2003, 06:03 PM

Either that or kept their masks on.

jimmycoasterman · #8 11-11-2003, 06:15 PM

The only one I personally know is this guy in my neighborhood held up a pizza delivery man at gunpoint (he was high at the time). His incredible idea sort of ended when he realized the pizza guy was at his house. Pretty rare incident for suburban Marietta.

edh101985 · #9 11-11-2003, 06:51 PM

"Three women dresses in costumes similar to the ones worn in the movie Scream entered a deli in February 2002 with intentions to rob the restaurant. Wielding BB pistols, a steel mallet, a hacksaw, and a pry bar, they hit one of the patrons over the head who then fell to the floor. Another customer saw his chance and grabbed the steel mallet from the woman who wielded it, and then clambered her over the head with it, knocking her back into her comrades. After this, the three fled from the establishment towards their car which was parked a mere 200 feet away. In the process of driving away, one of the attempted robbers got her foot run over before proceeding down the street. Since their entrance and departure had caused such a stir, many patrons had left the deli to observe what kind of car the thieves were driving and to get their license plate number. The robbers were found and arrested shortly afterwards."

"In Modesto, CA, a man was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. The Man used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun but unfortunately he failed to keep his hand in his pocket."

"A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty bag face mask over his head and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask."

"After a short chase, an Officer charged the driver of a white Mazda with DUI. The car had been driving down Pacific Coast Highway with the upper half of a traffic light pole laying across its hood. When the Officer asked the drunk driver about the pole, he responded: "It came with the car when I bought it."

"
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached tothe bumper."

**Wes** · #10 11-11-2003, 08:21 PM

I also heard of another one recentley, this guy holds up a fastfood employee by gun point (a felony) for the contents of his bag. Turns out all he had was his evening meal he was taking home!

Imagine going to jail for a Whopper hamburger lol

Dynamite_Phase · #11 11-16-2003, 01:01 PM

There's a whole book about stupid people called The Darwin Awards. It has a whole section devoted to stupid criminals. It's a great book. One of te criminal stories reads :

[I](2000, England) This tale proves that crime does pay, if you're fishing for elective surgery to go along with your stolen goods. A 24-year-old supermarket shoplifter stuffed a pair of live lobsters in his pants and sprinted for the door, but he never had a chance. The violated crustaceans brought the thief to his knees in front of startled cashiers when they fastened their powerful claws around his delicate parts. Doctors were able to remove the animals with pliers. They say the thief will fully recover -- except for one small detail. "It was a do-it-yourself vasectomy." This man's daring supermarket exploits make him one of the few Darwin Award winners to live to tell the tale. The supermarket manager declined to press charges, saying the culprit has already "gone through enough pain (to) learn his lesson."[/I]