Ok, so, here’s the thing… This is mainly for the guys on here, but girls may agree with some of my points. Oh, and this has nothing to do with what’s happened in the recent past in my life. All I can say, about relationships, mainly in the teenage years, is stay as far away from then as possible! There’s really no point in them! I mean, we walk down the halls and see girls and guys making out. While some people would be like AWWWW that’s so cute!!! Well, not me…
Starting late my freshman year I started developing this notion that dating while in high school has become nothing but a status symbol. Why has something this small become yet another thing we’re pressured into doing by our peers? I say that a girlfriend or a boyfriend is nothing more than a status symbol for the simple fact is that’s what it has become! I mean, when I look around, all I see is guys trying to get the hottest girl they can get, and the hottest boy that the girls can get. Seriously, when did looks start out weighing what was on the inside? Sure, I’m a guy, so naturally I am attracted to beautiful girls, but in the end, it’s the personality that I’m attracted too.
Furthermore, I want to know when the phrase ‘I love you’ lost almost all meaning??? When you say I love you to your girlfriend or boyfriend that you’ve been dating for a grand total of TWO FREAKIN’ WEEKS, I just don’t buy it… I don’t start buying it until AT LEAST a year after the item has started dating… And I don’t say it unless I TRULY, with every part of my heart. The only people I can fully say I love you to would be my best friend, who’s a girl, and my family, and even them I’m not sure about.
But seriously, my advice to the teens out there is to stay as far away from relationships as possible! There are way more important things out there in the world to spend your time with, like this little thing called your future!!! How can you honestly focus on school when you have to go over to your girls every night? You can’t… but in the end, if you must date someone, please, please be smart about it! Look for signs that things are becoming too much, like suffering grades, or, my personal favorite, when this girlfriend starts telling you who you can and can’t hang out with! If it gets to this point, don’t be an idiot and listen to them, end it right then and there… just like ole’ yeller! Put ‘er down ! lol. But seriously guys, be smart, that’s all I can tell you. Don’t let your girlfriend become a status symbol, be proud of her, but not boastful of her!
Well, I’m finished for now! I didn’t read back over this frankly because I don’t feel the need to. Any typos in this are my typos… they go with the text.

Now, I want your feelings about this topic...
Also, I just want to say now that this is not intended to hurt or offend anyone, just my random writing fits that I get in and can type something like this in like 5 minutes...
-Philip

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I have one Facebook friend that says that kind of lovely dovey stuff to her bf on the Book.. I know you guys can get on me for having that friend but she reached out to Friend me. It's all typical for that age.

We'll just see in this day and age where the statistics lie in difference in age between people getting married, how close and how big the gap is. It just seem to be after 4 years in college at least these days up here.

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Thrillnetwork Moderator - Sophomore Original sn: CHILLERLC1
2008 & 2009 TN Coaster Draft Champion
You knew I wanted the other repeat too

Well, it makes the kids like me feel... i don't know... left out.. No, I don't know.. It's just that I can see the reality of it all...

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I was in your shoes bud. My best wishes for you to keep your focus and get through this muck, focusing on a positive path. I realized what you did at your age. You're near the end. Get through high school The good things will fall into place. The next step may present those new things.

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Thrillnetwork Moderator - Sophomore Original sn: CHILLERLC1
2008 & 2009 TN Coaster Draft Champion
You knew I wanted the other repeat too

Thanks man. It's just really irritating!

I see it this way... God honestly is not going to send us Ms. Right while we're in high school... So.. why bother...??

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^Do you know that for a fact? Have you interviewed enough people to make that stick as a fact?

Or is it because girls find you repulsive?

I don't exactly have the time tonight to rip your initial post to shreds...but I'll tell you from experience...having a significant other in high school is the best distraction you can have.

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You're 17... the night is young, and apparently still in high school.

You really need to quit focusing on the negativity of it all, and realize that most of it is drama anyway. If you don't like it, don't go to school there. But, it's at just about every high school. Focus on what you need to get done, and leave it at that.

If you're feeling left out... grow some balls (not some prosthetic ones either). Girls love them, and maybe it might put you in with them, too. At the same time, be yourself. They don't like whiny "nice" guys who are going to do anything for them, or seem needy. They want independence, and they want someone who is going to play hardball at times.

I also hate to say this... it gets worse in college .

Lastly, I am speaking from experience. I went from being one of those freshman dorks to going to homecoming with a cheerleader in about a year's time. I did have a girlfriend later on, but that didn't last. Ultimately, I realized I didn't want to date anyone at my school, so I just went about my business. Then, college came, and I had someone in the first week I was there. It helped a lot with stress .

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ThrillNetwork Webmaster/Systems Administrator -- My Official Fansite -- Get Firefox!
Everytime I ride a coaster, it valleys. I've never been on a stalled coaster or had one roll back (except Wicked Twister and what was Superman: Ultimate Escape, which does that by design).

Well, obviously. That's their prime objective.

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Well... I'm 20, Have never been on a date, and Am a Virgin. It's Not So Great.

^ I am 29 years, and I am doing just fine!

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ThrillNetwork Lead Moderator (Originally known as Hurricane)

It's time to play some DEFENSE!

I don't necessarily think that having a significant other in high school is a bad thing, unless you let it overrun every aspect of your life. I unfortunately let this happen to me my senior year, and the fact I was more interested in spending time with my boyfriend that concentrating on things I should have been left me with a lot of regrets. We had what was considered a long term relationship back then too, meaning we stuck together for over a year (I left him just shy of our second anniversary) and it felt like each day was a milestone of success.

I'm married now, and have been in this happy state for nearly 3 years. I met him in college, though he is almost 6 years older than me and was not a student. My husband and I dated comfortably for two years before we tied the knot. I don't feel encumbered by him, he doesn't cause me to ignore things I would normally care about, and he makes everything in my life better because I can share and enjoy them with him. And I don't feel like every year that passes is a milestone of achievement or feel like we're barely making it to each anniversary - he is a keeper and we both intend to fulfill our marriage vows of til death do us part.

Some people are lucky enough to find a relationship like we have when in high school, and I say more power to them! In fact, one of my best friends has been married to her high school sweetheart for 4 years and they have a beautiful daughter together. But don't get in a relationship just because it's the popular girl or the hot guy. Get in the relationship because you enjoy their company and who they are. If you haven't found a person that you can say that about, then it's not time for you to have a significant other.

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05.16, 05.17, 05.18, 06.05, 06.06: Cedar Point
05.25.09-06.01.09: KD, SFA, BGE, SFGAdv, Morey's & More!
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2009 Diamondback laps: 41

Frankly in my opinion there is nothing wrong with having healthy relationships in school.

By that I mean finding friends to hang out with and enjoying each others company. If you meet a girl then take it slow and just start out as friends. It will happen naturally if you're the right fit for each other.

I was such a loner in school and really regret it, because I missed out on knowing a lot of people.

And as far as God not sending you Mr/Mrs Right in school, I know a few couples that met and dated all the way through school and are still married to this day. Although those cases are few and far between.

It took me a long time to like myself and love myself, and frankly at this point if I never get married I'm ok with that, because I love myself now and don't really care what others think nearly as much.

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Intimidator Coming in 2010 to Carowinds!

There is nothing wrong with having a relationship in high school...It is one of those things thats helps you to grow mentally and helps you adjust. As far as the comment about "God" sending us that special one in school, the Lord has nothing to do with that as that is all free will. ( you cant making people love you) But I have a few friends I went to school with that I run into who are still married to their high school sweet heart, it still comes down to the person.

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Life is a journey....enjoy the ride....

Ok, so let me refine my statement since they're obviously not going over to well... No, there is nothing wrong with relationships, which my contradict a lot of what I said before. However, there comes a time, which a went though last night, which prompted me to right this, when you just have to realize when it's time to take yourself off the market and focus more on life.

Oh, and to those of you who are telling me to grow some and that girls find me repulsive, well, since you don't know me, let me fill you in... I used to be the type that girls flocked to, still am, and I used to maintain a very active love life. I just got to the point where I wised up and realized, you know, maybe this isn't so important right now.

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I think a lot of people are missing the main point of what he wrote. He's not saying that a relationship during the teen/young adult years isn't worth it, he's saying the pointless relationships (the overwhelming majority at this age) aren't worth it. From what I've seen here (I'm assuming its the same in other areas too), most teens go into "relationships" for a week or two, break up, go back together, and continue, all while proclaiming their love for this person to the world. Not to mention, they only look for the most attractive person, or the one that "puts out" the most, and wonder why they can never be in a relationship for more than a week.

That's not referring to the "whiny" or "needy" guys/girls that feel left out at this age, it's referring to the very select few teenagers that are at a maturity level above their peers. This group feels left out because its very difficult to find another person their age that is looking for the same thing, a real serious relationship, not one fueled by wanting to say "I have a girlfriend/boyfriend", blind "i love you"s, or sexual desires.

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See, it would have a been a lot simpler to say that " i don't feel the need to be in a relationship because I have yet to find someone who is on my level". Why worry about what your other peers are doing in school. The only thing most of us heard by reading between the lines is " hating". I didn't date in school because most of the girls I went to school with were shallow( as were most of the guys) and and I was more concerned with work and graduating. The only thing I could even think is the right one always comes along when you are not even looking, unfortuantely my was on my 3rd chance( divorce sucks by the way)

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Life is a journey....enjoy the ride....

If that is the case, I totally agree.

The shallow relationships have been going on ever since, well, forever. It was all going on in the 80s just as much. It's just in school it's magnified becuase all your peers look at you like some kinda freak if you aren't in some kind of relationship, shallow or not. I don't think they slept around quite as much back then as they do now though. Not saying they didn't, but the sexual overload of the media wasn't what it is today. You didn't turn on MTV back in those days and see women with hardly anything on.

Madonna was the most controversial person most of the time, and she was fully clothed! Well, all except for that photo I saw at Hard Rock . I wonder if the new owners have seen that yet.

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Intimidator Coming in 2010 to Carowinds!

Sorry for the confusion. I was just really flustered last night. When I get in that shape, I just sit down and write. I posed that here, and on my myspace.

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I saw pics of the Hard Rock Park VIP room. I know what you're talking about Wes.

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Thrillnetwork Moderator - Sophomore Original sn: CHILLERLC1
2008 & 2009 TN Coaster Draft Champion
You knew I wanted the other repeat too

Take it from someone who has been in a relationship for 4 and a half years since he was 14 that it can work. We're talking about our future and its looking great. But you have to get your priorities straight early and often in the relationship in order for there to be some sort of sanity. I think that's a huge problem that people need to conquer. They have mixed goals of what to get out of a relationship.

And that's when you ask, what's the point? You have to be able to tell/ask yourself, if you're looking for Mrs. Right, is she someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. If not, look somewhere else. I was lucky enough to find my girl on the third try and I absolutely love her to death. She's exactly who I need in my life, and its been an amazing ride that'll end when we're both dead and gone.

To get back to the point...keep your head up. Through the muck and mire of the drama in high school, you'll find someone that is perfect for you. To clarify a statement made earlier, you need to take your free will in this area and put it in God's hands. He's the only one who knows you and the person He's called for you to marry. Trust me, I did this. He does not disappoint.

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When you put an artist in the figurative box, they no longer remain an artist.

I do agree with you that high school dating can sometimes be a status symbol, but when you say avoid dating at a young age, that is a little to far. I just don't understand why some people hook up and a day or two later, they break up.
I remember 3 years ago having a crush on someone and it has changed me life even now. I was an annoying kid back then and after I got shot down, I've become a shyer and quieter person. I'm not giving up on dating, but it's not the biggest priority in my life.

If they don't respond, I know it's for the best. I also tend to get some stalker/clingy types at times. Those alone want me to be single.

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ThrillNetwork Webmaster/Systems Administrator -- My Official Fansite -- Get Firefox!
Everytime I ride a coaster, it valleys. I've never been on a stalled coaster or had one roll back (except Wicked Twister and what was Superman: Ultimate Escape, which does that by design).

I agree. I've gone on a rant to many people about this before. It saddens me to see people throwing the term "I love you" around like it's nothing. Love is something that has to develop over time, and not just something that happens out when two people start crushing/dating. On the rest of your opinions I'm not so equally minded. I have no problem with dating in high school (or jr. high). I find it actually a good way to find out what kind of person you like, and what characteristics you look for in a person. In the past two years, I've had 3 girlfriends. I dated one for about a month, the second for 8 months, and my last girlfriend was for 6 months. All relationships were ended by me because quite frankly, I'm sorta a trust-freak. It takes a long time for me to be able to trust someone, and that's why I prefer to get to know people & become good friends with them before I even consider dating.

On a side note, I agree with you on the public-affections debate. I despise the people who proceed to stop in the middle of the hallway to make out/swap spit with their BF/GF. I can understand a hug or a quick kiss on the cheek or something, but honestly... get a hackin room. That and holding hands in places. I don't mind it, but seriously not only do you take up the space of 3 people, most people walk rather slowly which causes a traffic jam which is hell when you have to go from one class to another.

Overall, I agree with you on most fronts, but I have some differences as well. Good points though

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Amen here, if I saw a guy and girl making out in my school hallways, I'd wonder too, especially since I attended an all guys high school.

Wow so soon?

Pressured into? My brother made it fine through high school and college without a girlfriend, I don't think he was pressured. I'm sure others above have already attested to this. I wasn't pressured either. No one held a gun to my head and said, "You will have a girlfriend for your senior year of high school."

I think that lost all meaning when marriage itself became so easy to get (Vegas, Reno). How about celebrity marriages? Those are 99% jokes.

None of my girlfriends have ever said that I must devote 110% of my time to them. Ever. I got my best grades whilst in a relationship. Of course, that was motivation to get my driver's license because I was damned if I was going to have my Dad drive me to my senior prom.

And seeing the girl every night? Uh no. Talking on the phone every night, yes (we attended different schools) and even we didn't spend every weekend together.

I didn't see any typos, but you might want to keep this for your blog the next time.

So in all that griping, you're either a former "playa" that wants some sympathy, or you are no longer a playa because the girls have finally wisened up to your mannerisms.

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Natural Selection my friend.
I'm not saying that you can't like someone just for their personality, but looks play a bigger role in who people choose as their significant other. If there is no physical attraction, then there's not going to be anything else.
I used to think the same way: "I'm looking for a girl with a great personality more than a great body." But then I was 'set-up' with girls that friends said I would love. But after seeing them in person, I was in no way attracted to them, even if we did get along when talking online or on the phone.
Call me shallow, but it's true. If you're not physically attracted to them, there's not going to be anything there.

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ThrillNetwork Moderator
The user formerly known as WildeFyre
UOIT Mechanical Engineering Student

I think that is more for guys as well. I've seen a lot of girls/women date guys that are not good looking or are overweight etc. Women seem to look more for a stable guy with a job that they can depend on, moreso that actually having some hunk.

I have a good friend that people have asked why we never dated, and frankly it's because (mostly) her weight. I just don't have any desire to date someone that is that heavy. And I'm not talking 20 lbs overweight either.

And Leo that picture I think was hanging over one of the stalls, but I can't recall. I walked in the bathroom and did a double take.

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Intimidator Coming in 2010 to Carowinds!

I don't have a Problem with Students Dating/ Doing It. What I have a Problem with is Students Shooting Schools and killing kids.

Looks like I really need to find a job! lol
But seriously, I do see a few overweight people at my school who date. I wouldn't say I'm exactly fat, but I still wouldn't say I'm skinny as a rail, but I still wonder why I'm still single.

What I find helped during Jr. High was to just be open to everyone, and go out a lot more. As soon as I opened up to everyone & met more/interacted with more people, a LOT more people started liking me/being nice & stuff. Just be open to every/anyone, and stay optimistic! Hang in there bud.

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So, you're saying you don't like the ones who think gravy is a beverage?

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ThrillNetwork Lead Moderator
My neighbor got a big new house, and all I got was his lousy payments